Fighting like Cats and Dogs
by tang0cat1
Summary: Everyone knows that Lily and James fight alot, but what if Lily had a friend who fought with Sirius just as much? This is just a LONG oneshot that tells a story of Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black. Please R&R!


**A/N My opinion of Marlene and Sirius getting together. I know in my other story, I have Myer instead of Marlene but I had the idea in my head to write this little one-shot down. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All characters are JK Rowling's but the story plot is mine! (The bold writing in the story is because I borrowed it from another story I read)**

Marlene McKinnon was the average 17 year old girl. Tall, long blonde hair, blue eyes and extremely beautiful. She was also best friends with Lily Evans. Everybody knows about Lily's hate for the famous James Potter and Marlene was very similar to Lily in that aspect of life. Except she hates Sirius Black, Potters annoying (but even Marlene had to admit, he was funny) best mate.

In fact, the only one of the Marauders that they didn't hate was Remus Lupin. He had always been kind to them and never seemed to want to take part in the pranks played on her friends, and he always apologised after if they got hurt. Marlene didn't really count Peter as a Marauder even though the boys did. All he did was follow them around and laugh at James' pathetic jokes. Well actually they weren't that bad, but Marlene had to pretend they were otherwise she would be **hung on a pole by pixies and trampled by hippogriffs** controlled by Lily.

XxX

"AARGGHH! BLACK!" Marlene screamed as she fell down the stairs. It wasn't just a simple fall either. She suspected that Black had something to do with it. There had been banana peels on the stairs – they covered the whole staircase so she couldn't exactly miss them- and at the bottom step was a shield spell and she went smashing into it. As soon as Marlene hit the spell, bunch of water balloons exploded over her head and she was soaked in water.

Standing up, she shook the water out of her eyes, pulled her wand out of her robe pocket and stormed back upstairs. She slammed open the door of her bedroom and threw Lily's covers on the floor.

"What the-!" Lily shrieked and curled up into a ball at the sudden rush of cold. "What did you do that for? And why are you wet?" She sat up and blinked confusedly at Marlene.

"Black. He pranked me. He pranked ME! And I can't remember the spell to dry me off so I came to you. And I am threatening you with a wand. You know what I can do with a wand!" She waved her wand in Lily's face. It ruined the picture of danger because she was still dripping wet.

Lily simply waved her wand and Marlene felt a rush of hot air and she was dry. "Thanks. Can you tell me the spell? Please?"

"No. You should have been listening when McGonagall taught us the spell." Lily grabbed her clothes and went into the bathroom to change.

"I was! I just simply...forgot..." Marlene sat down on the bed to plot her revenge on Black. She could always...no that would never work! Or she could...Nah...Ooh! Marlene had found the perfect revenge. Grinning evilly she ran out of the room. Checking to see if the bananas were still there, she also sent a quick stunning spell at the bottom of the stairs. It whizzed down the staircase and into the common room.

THUMP!

Marlene ran into the common room to see who she had hit. She doubled over laughing when she saw it was Sirius Black. Potter was standing over him looking perplexed. He looked up and saw Marlene. Marching over he opened his mouth to ask her why he just stunned his best mate, when his eyes went all goo gooey and he lost all words.

"Potter! Why are you harassing Marlene?" Lily had come down the stairs and moved to stand next to Marlene, who bit her lip and tried to move away. She could tell this was going to end badly and she did not have the time to watch another Lily and James fight. Class was in ten minutes and she hadn't even had breakfast. She tried to tell Lily this but Lily was having none of it. She was too busy glaring at Potter.

"I wasn't harassing McKinnon. I was simply going to ask her why she felt the need to stun Sirius. But, while I have your attention, will you go out with me?" He asked with a smooth grin.

" I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the Bloody Baron." Lily ground her teeth before facing Marlene. "You stunned Black?"

"Yes?" Marlene seemed genuinely scared. Lily looked really angry that she had stunned Black. It was very surprising there forth when Lily hugged her. "You're not mad?"

"Hello! You just stunned one of the most annoying people on Earth! Why would I not be happy? It has shut him up!" Lily grinned and tugged my arm. Leading me out the portrait hole she glanced at Black on the floor. Bringing out her wand she sent a spell at him. Immediately a wet stain appeared on his pants and a huge flashing sign floated above him saying 'Sirius Black wet himself! Come gather, come gather!'

"Lily!" Marlene gasped.

"That should last for a while. And it will happen with every pair of pants he puts on. Oh, and Potter? There's no counter-curse so, you won't be able to fix it for him. Have fun!" And they walked out the portrait hole and down to Charms.

XxX

A while later, Potter, Black and Remus all walked into Charms. Remus apologised to Professor Flitwick for their lateness.

Everybody turned their heads to see what Black had done to cover up the huge wet mark on his pants. He seemed to be wearing three different layers of pants, the top one only had a slight mark. To fix the sign he appeared to have placed a disillusionment charm on it. Marlene could faintly see the words 'Sirius Bla- Come gather, co-'

His cheeks were slightly pink and Potter was trying to stand in front of him when they weren't sitting down. Lily bit her lip in an attempt to stop laughing and Marlene focused on the spell they were practicing. It was meant to be the Patronus charm but they were only learning the basics so far. It was damn right hard.

Marlene was struggling to think of a happy memory. Sure, this morning had been pretty funny but she it wouldn't be strong enough. And then there was when she got her Hogwarts letter, but everybody seemed to be doing that one and no one so far had gotten so much as a whisp of smoke so it obviously wasn't going to be strong enough. Meeting Lily was definitely happy.

_Flashback_

_A short, blonde haired girl stepped through the barrier onto the station. No one was there to say goodbye to her. They had all left her on the other side of the barrier because they were 'fascinated' by the muggles. _

_The train gaurds whistle blew and the girl ran towards the train, tugging her trunk behind her. Hauling it along the corridor she looked into every compartment trying to find one. When she finally found an empty one she opened the door and sat down. _

_She sat there for at least ten minutes before the door opened and a red-headed girl stormed in and sat down. The red-head looked up surprised though when she realised someone else was in the compartment._

"_Oh. Sorry! I didn't realise anyone was in here. Shall I go?" The girl asked._

"_No! No. It's okay. My name is Marlene McKinnon. What's yours?" The blonde stuck out her hand. The other girl faltered for a minute before shaking it._

"_Lily Evans. Do you know Severus Snape? I've lost him." She asked._

"_No. I don't think I know anyone of that name. Are you in first year too?" Marlene crossed her fingers, hoping to have found someone who could be her friend._

"_Oh good! I thought I wasn't going to find another first year!" Lily breathed out a sigh of relief. It seemed she had been wishing for the same thing as Marlene. They sat and talked for the rest of the journey. It turned out they both had loads in common._

_End Flashback_

That was definitely a happy memory. Marlene decided to try it and see. She closed her eyes and pictured that moment when Lily had stormed into the apartment, and how they had instantly become friends.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" She said. She had slightly shouted it, and everyone had turned their eyes on her. Marlene opened her eyes to see if anything had happened.

Everyone gasped when a wispy shape burst from the tip of her wand. Marlene squinted to try to work out what it was. But she didn't need to try very hard, because it soon became clear. A small, tabby cat was patrolling around the edge of the room, heating up everyone.

Marlene grinned as it walked over to her and trotted around her head. It floated there for a few seconds before disappearing. Nobody said anything, they were so amazed, or shocked or disappointed that they hadn't been first. Lily hugged her as did all her friends.

But it all ended quickly when Potter cheered. Black had managed to produce a patronus as well. It was a huge shaggy black dog. The dog ran around the room, silently barking at all the Ravenclaws in the room. When it reached the group of Gryffindor's, it started to chase its tail. They all laughed and it disappeared.

Black was grinning at everybody. He had come out from hiding behind Potter, and the class laughed. He looked down, at the wet patch on his pants which had gradually been getting bigger. Blushing slightly he ran from the room. Potter suppressed a laugh and ran after him.

XxX

Marlene sat down next to Dorcas at lunch. She started to pile her plate with sandwiches. Dorcas raised an eyebrow at the amount of sandwiches on her plate but she just shrugged and started to eat. She was disrupted however when someone flung an arm over her shoulder and sat down.

Turning her head, she came face to face with the village idiot. Oh, sorry, Black.

"What do you want Black?" Marlene asked coldly. She threw his arm off, but he just put it back.

"Well. All day, people have been laughing at me because I have a huge stain on my pants. And I know, that you know, that Lily knows the counter-curse for this problem. And I know, that you will tell me." He said, grinning at her.

"I'm sorry. Didn't Lily tell you that there was no counter-curse? And even if there was, why exactly would I tell you it?"

"Because, you secretly love me and hate to see me humiliated. And I can do things to you that will make you weak. You know you want to tell me how to fix it!" Sirius tried to give her the puppy-dog eyes but they never worked on her. Marlene had a little brother who was an expert at the puppy eyes. And even they didn't work. She turned away and continued to eat her sandwiches.

"No. And I'd like to see you try and get it out of me."

"Well, I could do this." He started to stroke her cheek. Marlene ignored him. 'Damn' Black thought. "Or this" He bent down close to her ear to whisper in it. Marlene shivered but kept ignoring him.

Sighing, Black spun her around. "Are you even listening to me?"

"No. And you've run out of things to do haven't you?"

"Not quite. I could also do this." Black lent forward and kissed her. Marlene was shocked, and was about to reach up and slap him when he pulled away. "What's the counter-curse?"

"You seriously, shut up, think that that would work on me?"

Black had opened his mouth to say his stupid pun, but was quickly shut up by Marlene. "Yeah. I did. But in all Siriusness (Marlene rolled her eyes) I want to show you something." At Marlene's hesitation, he sighed and promised it wasn't a prank.

Marlene stood up and followed him. "If I end up in the Hospital Wing, Lily will make sure to put you in there too."

"In adjoining beds?" He wiggled his eyebrows and Marlene punched his arm. "Sorry, but you kind of asked for that one."

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"Didn't!"

"Did!"l

"Didn't! I have a little brother Black, I can do this all day."

"So do I. Bring it on McKinnon."

"You are so immature. And since we are literally walking around in circles, can I please go to the common room?" And they were walking round in circles. Somehow they had gotten up to the seventh floor and were pacing in front of a blank space of wall.

Suddenly a door appeared and Black pulled Marlene inside. "Welcome to the Room of Requirement, or as house-elves call it, the Come-and-Go Room."

They were in a huge red and gold room which looked like the common room. In fact it looked exactly like the common room. It had the couches in front of the fire place and the study tables in the corner. The paintings were in the same places and the stairs to the dormitories looked exactly the same. They even had a few banana peels left from this morning.

"Why am I here?" Marlene asked confused.

"Well, it was meant to be something else but you stuffed it up by asking for the common room. So it made an exact replica of Gryffindor Tower." Black said sitting down in one of the couches by the fireplace.

"What was it meant to be?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." He said.

"Why won't you tell me?"

"No. It was meant to be nothing. You should see it when the room is nothing. It is so cool. You just sort of...float there until you can find the door."

Marlene sat down on the floor in front of the fire. She looked up at Black who was staring at her. She turned away quickly, going red.

"_Do _you know the counter-curse?" Black asked her. Marlene shook her head.

"Sorry. Lily was telling the truth. There isn't one. But she said it will end at 8 which is only a few hours away."

"Oh. Do you want to skip Potions? Old Sluggy won't mind. He loves Lily, who can cover for you and he won't care about me."

"Ummmmm...why?" Marlene was confused. Why would he want to skip with her?

"Because."

"Fine. Do you want to play truth? It's kind of like truth or dare but you don't get the option of dare." Marlene suggested. Black nodded and joined her on the floor. He gestured for her to go first. "Who are you crushing on right now?"

"Like right right now? This very minute? Well then...you." Black grinned at her. Marlene blushed and looked at her feet. He was still staring at her. "Ok...What is the strongest feeling you feel for me?"

Marlene thought for a minute. Usually she would say hate, but over the past half hour she had felt a few different feelings. Hate, dislike, anger, annoyance, surprise, love, like. She guessed the strongest one would be like. "Umm...Like?"

"Oh. I pour out my deepest darkest feelings to you and you say like? I am deeply hurt. My heart is bleeding." He feigned hurt. Marlene punched his arm for the second time that day.

"What was the most embarrassing moment you've ever experienced?" She asked.

"Last year when the giant squid stole my pants and I had to hide in the lake till James could get me some trousers. I think he waited two hours just to be annoying. He says he forgot about me! He forgot about ME! ME!"

Marlene laughed. She remembered that. She had been walking around the lake with Lily and she had seen the giant squid eating someones pants. She had even seen Black hiding under the water. She rembered laughing at him with Lily.

"I can understand why that would be embarrassing but me and Lily were the only ones who saw you. We didn't tell anyone." Marlene said.

Black looked down and blushed slightly. He mumbled something that sounded like "Yeah but YOU saw me."

"Awww...Sirius Black. The person who never has absolutely NO dignity, was embarrassed because I saw you hiding in the lake!"

Black grinned suddenly and looked up at me. "Were you embarrassed in the hall when I kissed you?"

"N-No. Did I look embarrassed?"

"No. You kept your cool. Very good. Would you be embarrassed if I kissed you again?"

"Hey only one question! But, no. There's no one here is there?" Marlene saw a mischievous glint in Blacks eye and shuffled away from him.

"Aww. No fun you." He moved closer and leant in close to her ear again. "If I wanted to kiss you, I would. I wouldn't tell you first. That gives you a chance to get away. But since you seem so eager..." This time he didn't even give her a chance to work out what he was saying. He kissed her for the second time that day.

And Marlene just decided to go along with it. It was nice. In fact, it was so nice and relaxing, she forgot all about the prank she had been planning all day. It had been on her mind since this morning, and with one mind-blowing kiss, it was gone. She could barely even remember her own name.

It lasted a long time. When he finally pulled away, they were sitting so close, she was virtually in his lap. She grinned sheepishly and shuffled away again. But he grinned again and pulled her back for another kiss.

And that was their afternoon. And in her opinion, it was a pretty good way to spend the day.

**OMG! That was seven pages on a word document! It took me so long! Actually it only took me two days, but it felt like a long time. I hope you enjoyed it! I definitely enjoyed writing it. :)**


End file.
